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Literature
and tonight I'll pack my bags
and the day smelt like rotting time and expired dreams again because you lost me like a baseball game. "but son," your father said, "there will be plenty more." you're not the center of the world, you know. not everyone loves you, you know. you can't bury every girls' freckles in your dimples, you know. I'm nice, but I'm not lovely, you know. I'm presentable, but I'm not beautiful, you know. I'm alive, but I'm not yours, you know. I'm surviving, but you're not mine, and I know.
and the sky tasted like the sound of airplanes again, when guilt and complaints collided. we are funny boned airplanes crashing into land-coloured desks. w
Literature
Can't Go Home Again
My name is Jacob Mullins. I just turned 24 last week and got a phone call from my father telling me to come home. Now, as I get out of my car and head up the walkway, I'm not too jazzed to be walking back into the house that reminds me of my childhood. It took me a year and a half to move into an apartment and get a decent job and now I have to take a leave of absence to take care of the old codger before he croaks. If I lose my job over this there better be something phenomenal in that will of his to make up for it.
As soon as I open the door the smell of dust and sickness reaches my nostrils
Literature
leitmotif
(I will never forgive Millais for painting Ophelia calm in the water. My cousin Noah died shoeless and struggling under a lonely man’s hands, his eyes full of rain runoff. Real people don’t sink as pretty as oil on canvas: Noah was four feet five on the autopsy slab, no flowers, no frames. I am ruled by the aesthetic, but I would embrace his every imperfection if it meant having him back. This clumsy dilettante still loves Noah with the scabs on his shins, sitting sloppy at Sam’s recitals in sneakers and shorts. Give me the asymmetry of his eyelashes. For the fir
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(BTW.. for those of you who have asked, harassed or in other ways wanted to know why my user name is what it is... there you go.)
First of all... I don't want to hear from any flamers. This was the most hardest piece I have ever written, however long in coming. I know it is not a nice piece, I know it shows a side of me I have not revealed and I will understand if you dislike me or if I lose your respect. What happened, happened. There is no changing that. But do know I am not the same person I was then. Now, my kids come first and only in my heart. Jayce is just as much loved as the others, even though it breaks my heart from time to time.
The people who hurt him were convicted in May 2007 to only two years in prison. They are slated for release this May. And yes, it scares the living hell out of me. It was not nearly enough time to any of us involved, but our hands were tied. The kids, after 4 months in cali, were finally return back up here to Oregon, and it was last year that Malika was returned to me with full custody awarded. Kayden, as it was before his time, was unaffected.
Shaken Baby Syndrome has so many misconceptions surrounding it. It is not limited to one sex or class of people and is something that can be prevented, when the signs are given. Or even by the potential abuser. A crying child can grate on the nerves of all, but taking the time to cool down, relax a bit and remember it is just a baby, who has few forms of communication. Call someone if you are feeling too stressed. Help is there.
For us.. we were lucky. Many babies either do not survive, or are far more disabled than Jayce is. It is estimated that in the US alone, 1200 to 1400 and either killed or injured due to SBS. It is a very really thing.
Everyday that I have with him is a challenge. Dealing with a child who is blind is a new experience and takes alot of time, care and extra love. But you will never meet a sweeter kid.
For more information on SBS and the "Period of Purple" campaigne, please see this site [link]
"Believe all babies can be safe from harm...We do"
And I do too.
(Sorry for the length)
First of all... I don't want to hear from any flamers. This was the most hardest piece I have ever written, however long in coming. I know it is not a nice piece, I know it shows a side of me I have not revealed and I will understand if you dislike me or if I lose your respect. What happened, happened. There is no changing that. But do know I am not the same person I was then. Now, my kids come first and only in my heart. Jayce is just as much loved as the others, even though it breaks my heart from time to time.
The people who hurt him were convicted in May 2007 to only two years in prison. They are slated for release this May. And yes, it scares the living hell out of me. It was not nearly enough time to any of us involved, but our hands were tied. The kids, after 4 months in cali, were finally return back up here to Oregon, and it was last year that Malika was returned to me with full custody awarded. Kayden, as it was before his time, was unaffected.
Shaken Baby Syndrome has so many misconceptions surrounding it. It is not limited to one sex or class of people and is something that can be prevented, when the signs are given. Or even by the potential abuser. A crying child can grate on the nerves of all, but taking the time to cool down, relax a bit and remember it is just a baby, who has few forms of communication. Call someone if you are feeling too stressed. Help is there.
For us.. we were lucky. Many babies either do not survive, or are far more disabled than Jayce is. It is estimated that in the US alone, 1200 to 1400 and either killed or injured due to SBS. It is a very really thing.
Everyday that I have with him is a challenge. Dealing with a child who is blind is a new experience and takes alot of time, care and extra love. But you will never meet a sweeter kid.
For more information on SBS and the "Period of Purple" campaigne, please see this site [link]
"Believe all babies can be safe from harm...We do"
And I do too.
(Sorry for the length)
Mature
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Comments17
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This is one of the most powerful and heart wrenching things I have read here. I cannot even begin to imagine what life must have been like for you or your children.
I sincerely hope your life has gotten brighter.
I sincerely hope your life has gotten brighter.